Guide
Leaving school when you are neurodivergent
There are very few good resources for young people who are not children any more but are not yet fully out in the world. Being neurodivergent adds another layer to that stretch, usually without support to work out a way forward. This is what I found looking at how it is done elsewhere.
What successful transition actually needs
It is not measured by grades alone
This was the clearest finding of the whole Fellowship. Success cannot be judged by qualifications or university progression on their own. A young person can meet every academic benchmark and still be entirely unprepared, and the reverse is just as true.
Self-knowledge
Understanding how you learn, what you find hard, what you are good at, and what you need in order to work well. This is the foundation everything else sits on, and it is rarely taught.
Self-advocacy
Being able to say what you need, to someone who can do something about it, without apologising for it. It emerged as central to successful transition, particularly for girls entering adult education or employment.
Real choices, and the chance to make them
Opportunities to make decisions and learn from the results. Young people who have never chosen anything arrive at eighteen expected to choose everything.
Pathways that are genuinely valued
Flexible academic, vocational and applied routes are valuable, but only when they are meaningful, properly supported, and treated as equally valid rather than as what you do if you cannot manage the other thing.
What families and young people can do now
Start earlier than feels necessary
Transition planning belongs well before the end of compulsory schooling, and it should follow the young person rather than stopping at the school gate.
Write down what helps
A short profile of strengths, aspirations, effective strategies and preferred adjustments. It should belong to the young person, go with them, and be updated as things change. It saves explaining yourself from scratch to every new person.
Practise asking, in low stakes situations
Self-advocacy is a skill, not a personality trait. Ordering in a cafe, asking a teacher for clarification, emailing about a deadline. Small requests build the habit before the stakes get high.
Ask institutions what they can actually do
Before choosing a college, employer or course, ask what adjustments are available and how quickly. The answer, and how readily it comes, tells you a great deal.
Notice progress that is not academic
Confidence, communication, attendance, problem solving, independence, willingness to try. These predict how the next few years will go at least as well as grades do.
Do not wait for a diagnosis to get support
A diagnosis can help someone understand themselves and access provision, but support should follow identified need. Waiting lists should not decide whether a young person gets help this term.
Why girls in particular
Public debate tends to swing between claims that neurodiversity is over-diagnosed and evidence pointing the other way, such as the underdiagnosis of ADHD in girls, or the finding that most dyslexic people leave school without a formal diagnosis.
Underneath that argument is the thing that actually matters. Girls fare particularly poorly here. Without help, many risk becoming a shell of what they could be, when the right support would have built their confidence and given them the skills to advocate and care for themselves.
Part of the reason is that difficulties in girls are more often masked, and screening does not always account for that. What gets noticed is the effect on attainment and wellbeing, not the cause.
What institutions need to do
The other half of the finding is not about young people at all. Nobody should be expected to navigate an inaccessible system independently, however good their self-advocacy.
Schools, colleges, employers and other institutions have to create environments where differences are understood and where asking for support leads to something actually happening. Responsibility is shared: young people should be supported to advocate, and the systems around them must be willing and able to listen and respond.
Several of the changes that make the most difference cost nothing:
- Warm referrals. Introduce someone to the next person rather than pointing them at a webpage.
- A clear menu of adjustments staff can make quickly, so support is not delayed while evidence is gathered.
- Quiet spaces and an agreed, non-punitive way to step away, regulate and come back.
- Explicit expectations. Deadlines, conventions and unwritten rules said out loud rather than assumed.
- Basic sensory review of lighting, noise, temperature and crowding.
Where this comes from
This guide draws on my Churchill Fellowship, which looked at how neurodivergent girls and young women aged 16 to 25 can be better supported as they move beyond compulsory schooling. I spent 2026 visiting education, training and support settings in Victoria and Tasmania in Australia, and in Texas and Florida in the United States.
The full report makes 30 recommendations across policy, institutions and immediate practice, and is free to download.
Wondering whether to get an assessment?
Book a free 20-minute call and tell me what you have noticed. I will tell you honestly whether an assessment is the right next step.