Heisenberg, I am not. A clever physicist I am not. Epically good at clever existentialism, I am not. I do have the odd clever moment and sometimes use my brain (when it’s not in a jar, kicking about somewhere at the back of my wardrobe).
So I will caveat this wodge of ranty-writing by the fact that I’m dyslexic (need for structure and organization) but also a free-spirit and a bit bonkers, with the attention span of a gnat. Also, I like to do m own thing, for which I wholeheartedly blame team Newton!
With the whole Newton thing, there may yet be physicists in the family, but I genuinely have not a clue about that one.
So I’m not wobbling all over the place in the literal sense of spinning and falling over, or having had a few too many adult-pops. But it’s that idea of a bit of wobble and uncertainty with where I’m heading next. I did a pod-case with the founder of a wonderful organization the other day (Teen Tips’ Alicia Drummond). One of the questions that she asked me was about how I got to where I and some of the underlying strategies I have. I quoted my Dad on this one where we always had to be able to say, “I’m doing this, so that… in order to…” as a way of helping us frame why we were doing something and its purpose when we were younger. It is something that is really helpful and helps when you’re thinking of next steps.
But with next steps comes Helen’s Uncertainty Paradox Principal. I am a creature of habit and I like routine but I like to do different stuff and keep myself on my toes. I like security and regularity about lots of areas of my life, but I like challenge and growth and doing new stuff. I’ve been really lucky that I’ve an AMAZING support network supporting me – another point we made in the podcast – because nothing I’ve achieved has been done in isolation and folks around me really are the basis for everything.
But I’m at a point where things are on the move. And it is terrifying. It is exciting and exhilarating. There is uncertainty to keep me on my toes but there is fear and worry because I’m a bit of a worrier and a creature of habit.
Not sure exactly what’s next, and what the next few months, years etc will look like, but paradoxically, I certainly need to embrace the uncertainty!