Having cake and eating it: supporting PEOPLE who want to have kids and careers

Bored of the election- I voted for the record- so I’m writing about something else!

I get annoyed. SOOOOOOOOO annoyed when there are articles talking about supporting girls for this about having it all, women who want child care, girls who aren’t career driven, women who need this, and women who should sacrifice that and undertaken this to do things that they should be able to choose. There is a lot of it about in teaching and education: the workforce largely identifies as female and kiddos are subject to educational policies relating to curriculum content. I read about how girls need to realise they have a choice not to ‘have it all’.

Men are so rarely discussed in these situations.

Our expectations of men as working (or not) working need consideration. Society’s expectations of men both legally and in terms of social norms, need consideration. Every time someone tries to insult, and I mean insult, my other half with the insinuation that he’s my 4th child (after the doglets and the actual child), it makes me angry. It reinforces the notion that I’m the one in charge of domestic bliss and organisation in the Ross household. This is simply insulting to Andrew and to me. As though I’m choose someone who is so intrinsically inept that he can’t manage to deal with a small human, or that I’m the only one who does so.

We both do it, as much as we can.

We have been severely limited in our capacity to do so because of legal frameworks which limit our finances and thus Mr Dr Ross’ chance to be at home with the small one more, and constrain me to being the one who does small person stuff.

Instead of talking about how to support women more with childcare options, women more with flexible careers, women so that they can be mothers, or career-driven or whatever, we need to be thinking holistically about society. And about anyone who wants a bit of wriggle room with their careers. 

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